To be cont'd

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Punster in the cookie factory

My new key to dread locks

I have dreads. Not the kind that get your hair in a twist. The kind that get your panties in a twist. 

I pretty much dread just about everything. Sometimes the dread serves a purpose: alerts me to danger, say, or helps me prepare a strategy for dealing with a difficult situation. But mostly dread taints the pleasure I might otherwise feel in life.

Recently a new mantra has been helping me: I tell myself that the only way to get to the other side of a dreaded event is to get through it. It almost makes it possible to anticipate the dreaded thing with eagerness.

It’s like the Bear Hunt solution:

“We're going to catch a big one. / What a beautiful day! / We're not scared. / Oh-oh! Grass! / Long, wavy grass. / We can't go over it. / We can't go under it. / Oh, no! / We've got to go through it!”

So when I see a pickle ahead, I try to look past the pickle to the relish.

Analyze this. No, don't

Last night I dreamed that I had decided to dispense with the litter box and fill the entire bathroom with cat litter six inches deep. So there I was wading through stinking clay pellets with my scoop, stepping on turds as I tried to fish out others to flush down the toilet. 

What does THAT mean?

Well, according to the edreaminterpretation, “To dream of kitty litter, or a cat litter box, suggests bad luck and misfortune ahead for you. It may also relate to the dreamer’s feelings of guilt or shame.” And “Litter in dreams can alert us to a disorderly mess, a spiritual problem not properly thought through.”

As if living with a room full of litter and cat excreta wasn’t bad enough!

Contractor vigilantism