As my old friend K begins the dreary, dread-filled circuit of cancer treatment—blood-test batteries, ultrasounds and PET/CT scans, doctors' appointments, surgeries, pathology reports, chemo infusions, radiation—and my friend C accompanies his father along a similar path, I wish I could offer them comfort or shortcuts or secrets—or anything at all. I am sadder but not much wiser as a result of my travails. I have little to offer.
Nothing can really ease the agony of a life-threatening illness. You are stuck, essentially alone, in your own private hell. But a few strategies limited the damage for me. Because life never really settles into round numbers like 5 or 10, there are 11 that come to mind:
1. Write down your obsessive thoughts—maybe in a blog!—so you don't have to keep repeating them to yourself
2. Take notes—write down everyone's name and phone number and e-mail address and what he or she said—and transfer your notes to a computer file so you can search it easily
3. Keep a calendar of every medical event—from lab tests to treatments to doctor visits—on your computer
4. Get copies of lab and pathology reports
5. Keep every bill, annotated with the date and the check number of your payment, clipped to a copy of the relevant insurance report
6. If you don't get a call with the result within a day or two of a lab test, call the doctor
7. As much as possible, treat your illness (or your parents' illness) like a job: make lists and cross off completed tasks
8. Drink 8 cups of water or green tea every day
9. Eat 5 to 9 servings of fruits and vegetables every day
10. Take deep breaths
11. Get exercise (preferably in the form of yoga) every day
2 comments:
Wow! That's a very thorough list.
I'm going to save that. Thanks!
I would add, get to some kind of support group, if you have the inclination. I didn't when I was dealing with my parents illnesses and I wish I had. Therapy helps, but misery loves company and it helps to think about other people in the same boat.
Well, I eventually found support groups helpful, but in the beginning it was too alarming to be in a roomful of sick people. I didn't want to be one of them. I wanted to be like my healthy friends. But, you're right, not only does misery love company, but those sick people have a lot of information to share!
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