On the way up to school, a friend of C's who was in the car with us asked me why Other and I hadn't ever gotten married and why we gave C my last name instead of Other's. And my answer was that I was sick of following the rules and wanted to do things my way.
And yesterday driving home, I had an almost overwhelming impulse to disobey the rules again, take the "wrong" exit ramp, head in a different direction for a different destination. It isn't that I don't love my current life with its comforts and stability. It's just that I miss the sense of spontaneity, of choosing the road not taken just because I felt like it. In the end I was happy enough to turn in the rental car and step through my front door to the twilight glow of home and Other's wonderful organic split-pea soup. But one of these days I'm going to take Exit 13N instead of 13S—just for the hell of it.