Every so often, my brother, who lives in rural California, sends me a copy of a local newspaper. The cover story of the Dec. 3, 2009, Point Reyes Light, which flags itself as "Marin's Pulitzer Prize-Winning Newspaper," was a nude protest—by a group called Baring Witness—against the escalation of the war in Afghanistan. The gist: a dozen activists arranged their naked bodies in a peace sign in Love Field. Arresting as that story was, it is the "Sheriff's Calls" column that I found most haunting. Verbatim excerpts:
Monday, November 23
POINT REYES STATION: At 9:05 a.m. a large black dog ran north along Highway One.
NICASIO: At 9:56 a.m. an 85-year-old woman had a stroke.
SAMUEL P. TAYLOR: At 10:23 a.m. the remains of a horse, complete with its saddle, were found in the park.
CHILENO VALLEY: At 11:15 a.m. a 70-year-old woman was found dead inside her car on a turnout.
MUIR WOODS: At 12:15 p.m. deputies were asked to stand by while a homeowner gave her housepainters their final check.
STINSON BEACH: At 10 p.m. deputies encountered people cooking marshmallows in a campfire on the beach.
Tuesday, November 24
STINSON BEACH: At 12:29 p.m. a bearded man in a wheelchair was seen wheeling backwards down hill, through blind curves, toward town.
Wednesday, November 25,
HICKS VALLEY: At 6:19 a.m. two black and white cows were walking down the road.
Thursday, November 26
FOREST KNOLLS: At 1:56 p.m. a 56-year-old had a seizure.
HICKS VALLEY: At 3:25 a.m. a cow was seen walking through the fog.
FOREST KNOLLS: At 5:11 a.m. broken toys were moved from the road onto the shoulder.
FOREST KNOLLS: At 7:37 a.m. a 56-year-old woman reported that her daughter and her daughter's boyfriend had pushed pills down her throat while she was asleep. Deputies stood by while the woman told her daughter to move out.
MUIR BEACH: At 1:58 p.m. a man reported that a gray-haired man driving a red Subaru had approached his ten-year-old son, asking for water.
STINSON BEACH: At 8:52 p.m. an 85-year-old man was suddenly unable to talk.
Friday, November 27
BOLINAS: At 2:51 a.m. deputies got a 911 call but heard only wind in the background.
Saturday, November 28
BOLINAS: At 7:53 a.m. a 73-year-old man reported that he had been throwing up all night.
WOODACRE: At 11:53 a.m. a person trying to dial 916 instead dialed 911.
BOLINAS: At 3:29 p.m. a large man who was yelling and throwing things at customers exiting the store was arrested and released.
POINT REYES STATION: At 5:33 p.m. a 12-year-old girl fell off a trampoline.
Sunday, November 29
FOREST KNOLLS: At 12:57 a.m. deputies got a call with nothing on the other end except what sounded like a woman gasping for air.
...
I totally get why this paper won the Pulitzer Prize.
2 comments:
LOL!! It is seldom that I laugh out loud when I'm alone, but reading the excerpts from this newspaper has me rolling on the rug with great guffaws. Thank you for sharing the real news.
You're welcome. I thought the police blotter had a kind of Twin Peaks poetry—as well as humor. It seemed to reveal the secret life of those towns. Glad you enjoyed it as much as I did!
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