So yesterday morning, I got up as usual and fed the cats. As usual, the big one, Iggy, chased the little one, Ivy, away and ate her food as well as his.
"You fat fcuk!" I screamed at him, as usual. "You greedy asshole! Get the hell out of here!" And I shoved him out the door and slammed the door shut.
My daughter poked her head out of her bedroom: "Shhh." She had a friend spending the night.
(Don't you love Susie Essman's name?)