The wisdom of my 3-year-old son:
* [Before bed] "Let's talk about how sweet I am."
* J: Are you going to die soon?
M: Are you worried I'm going to die?
J: What happens is you get fatter and fatter and then you die.
* "Encaprin [a pain reliever he'd seen advertised on television] makes your whole body light up!"
* M: Don't wipe your nose on me!
J: I'm just nuzzling you, Mommy.
* "When things are far away they look smaller."
* "You know why I cover my mouth when I'm eating? Because I don't want you to stuff some more food in."
* [To Other at midnight after waking up from a nightmare] "Where are your pointy little ears?"
* [To his friend Shira] "I am a grandfather. I can fix anything. You are a grandfather too."
* M: I'm not going to talk to you if you don't listen.
J: Mommy, I am listening. I'm just death.
* J: Did you take all the seeds out of my watermelon?
J: You are a good woman!
* J: Let's just lie here and look at the stars for a minute.
M: Aren't they beautiful!
J: Let's not talk. Just look.
* "You know what, Mom? A picture in my head told me you could break that artichoke heart in two and give me half."
* "[About a big bottle of bubble goo] "I think I might die before we use all those bubbles up."
* J: Alex put sand in my mouth!
M: How dreadful! Did you do anything to him?
J: Well, my problem was he was so mean.
M: So ...
J: So I told him I would make him eat too much sugar.
* "Keep your eye open while I kiss it. I bet girls can't keep their eyes open very long."
* "Mommy, do you think life is but a dream?"
* "Mom, if you want to be grumpy, be grumpy. But do it somewhere else."
* J: I wish I was a girl.
J: Because girls get to chew gum but boys have to eat lifesavers.
* J: Mommy, I wish you would have another baby.
J: Then we could name him Rupert.
* M: Next week there's no summer camp because there's a holiday.
J: You mean there's a holiweek!
* M: Time to put on your nighty-nights [pajamas].
J: I can't. I'm asleep. I'm hibernating.
* "When Daddy throws me in the air, if there's no gravity I won't come down."